So, the fourth of July weekend was quite exciting for me because I finally got something I’ve been wanting for a long time, a new bed. Now, though, I’m not sure how excited I am about having a new bed. Apparently, I had forgotten the fact that your body needs a little time to adjust to the newness of the mattress, especially when it’s memory foam (which feels much harder to me now than it did in the store). In fact, I’m not even sure that I like it. Wow! This is unexpected (and costly in more ways than one); this is also quite thought-provoking. And while not all of the thoughts can be shared, some can.
I’m realizing now that it’s quite challenging to find the proper balance between soft and firm, and it seems much more challenging to do so in my forties than it ever did before. With the mattress, of course, I’m referring to the changes that have occurred with/in my body over the years. The mattress dilemma has made me think about much more than changes in my body though. The balance between soft and firm is a challenge for me in ways that are so much more than physical. I think of myself as a parent, as a wife, as a sister, as a daughter, as a leader, as a friend, and even as a teacher and a writer. Yes, the balance between soft and firm when interactions with other people are involved is a tricky one.
This line of thinking made me reflect back to the movie night our family had this past Saturday. My little girl chose The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (one of my favorites of all time). The lion Aslan is the perfect soft versus firm example. He’s beautiful/awe-inspiring, stately yet approachable, fluffy even, but one roar from him silences all around. His essence is really hard to capture which makes sense when we realize that for C.S. Lewis, the author of the book the movie is based on, Aslan represented Christ. As I write in my memoir in the “Steel Velvet King” chapter, I once heard a pastor on television say that Jesus was gentle but never soft and firm but never hard. Well, let’s just say that JC could never be a nickname for my new mattress. Somehow I don’t think I’ll ever really resolve my “real” soft versus firm issue, the one that colors all of my relationships; I’ll just have to find a way to rest in the fact that God’s got that covered (silly pun intended). Hopefully, though, I will be able to resolve the oh so firm memory foam mattress issue (sooner versus later).
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