Searching for Satisfaction

Like so many other people I know, I became sick with a wretched stomach virus a couple of weeks ago; and when I say wretched, I mean it.  Things weren’t pretty.  And even now that some time has passed, I still cannot seem to get my system back to what’s normal for me; I cannot yet eat those foods I typically love nor can I seem to find a way to really enjoy any food or drink the way I usually do.  In fact, even those most beloved foods that generally bring comfort to us have continued to fail to satisfy me still.

Once the virus seemed to be over, I went to the grocery store several days in a row and bought all kinds of things that I thought might hit the proverbial spot, thinking all the while that the next thing I tried would be the perfect thing.  I bought oatmeal, grits, potatoes, white bread (which I never eat), baby food (for fruits and vegetables), baby cereal, pudding, saltines (which I also never eat), waffles, and the list goes on and on.  And try as I may, I could find no magic fix–the pleasure I once derived from food was simply not to be had for now.

As I “stewed” about all of this (silly pun intended of course), I was reminded of our plight down here–I was reminded of life’s chase, of all the precious time we spend running after that one thing we somehow convince ourselves will make all the difference for us.  As a much younger woman, I used to think that one thing was the perfect physical body; and some days, shamefully, I still do.  And just last week, I spent all of that time searching for that one perfect food that will make me truly “right” again.  Though I’ve learned over the years that there’s only one thing, one Someone, who can make anything right again, I seem to forget this all too often–and I find myself on the hunt for some fix that can satisfy.

But, the reality is that such a fix comes only from another world, a perfect world–the type of world for which so many of us, perhaps even most of us, spend our lives here yearning.  And as C.S. Lewis says, if such a perfect realm did not exist, we would not spend our lives wishing for it; we would not spend our lives here feeling as if this place is not our home at all, as if we were made for some other place altogether.  I think we are all, sick or well, searching for satisfaction.  We are searching for the perfect family or job or house or meal or latte.  And once we find it, whatever “it” turns out to be, we begin our search anew because that’s what we do.  We are chasers by nature, but our nature is not the most trustworthy one around.

God and his nature are trustworthy though–and he satisfies something in us that nothing else in this world can.  It’s just easy to forget this when we allow ourselves to get caught up in the chase of this life, in the pursuit of the next more perfect thing.  If there is any one thing worth our time, any one thing worth running after, God is that one thing.  He does and he will satisfy even our deepest longings; and he does and he will forgive us when we forget this and allow ourselves to chase after the many fickle fixes this world has to offer us.