Angela Denton Foss

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Giving and Loving

November 21, 2015 By: Angela Denton Fosscomment

It seems that everywhere I go these days people are talking about giving.  I hear about things like a random stranger leaving a $100 at Starbucks for the next round of people who come in afterward.  And in recent months a woman I’d never seen before bought my groceries at Target because the stranger in front of her had just bought hers.  This spirit of generosity that I continue to observe in our culture has prompted me to remember something I learned several years ago from the writing of Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa, through a story about a man who donated to her mission, made me re-evaluate my idea of giving.  She told the story of an extremely wealthy man who could have written her a huge check but instead chose to serve as a volunteer on a regular basis.  She said that this man gave up the more costly thing because he could always make more money but never seemed to have enough time.  She went on to point out something that I believe is especially true for so many of us in our westernized culture–she said that most of us are accustomed to giving purely out of our excess.  I don’t think this means that our giving is no good but that giving in its purest, its most God-like, form does require some level of “real” sacrifice.

Even when we are courageous enough to give sacrificially, I find that we often tend to resent it later.  We tend to think things like, “Where’s everyone else?”  I find this to be especially true if the recipient is seemingly not in a position to ever return our “gift/favor.”  And then, perhaps worse still, we tend to become concerned that the recipient may well feel inclined to expect even more costly giving in the future since the door of generosity has been flung wide open before their very eyes.  In fact, this latter reason is the exact reason why I believe so many of us choose to never open the door in the first place; because, if we do, there’s just no telling what might be expected of us next–and all for no apparent payback.

No, it certainly seems that many of us here in this culture don’t view giving the way Mother Teresa did.  She said that Christ gave until it hurt; and he, of course, did–and his love for God the Father and for us is why he did so.  Yes, he loved us until it hurt.  How many of us love like that?  How many of us give like that?  Such giving, such loving, really can change all those involved–giver, recipient, onlookers.  There’s a power in it that’s hard to capture in words.  I’ve witnessed it but have failed all too often to live it out.

Sacrifice, any form of self-denial or pain, is not something most of us readily choose, as long as there’s another path set before us.  This season of thanksgiving, however, I do hope and pray that more of us might be able to set ourselves aside for the sake of another, for the sake of someone who appears to have precious little to offer in return, for the sake of someone who might well come back around and ask us to forget about ourselves all over again.  Yes, I hope and pray we might just be willing to give and love until it hurts–to give and love the way that God Himself, through his son the Christ, gives and loves.

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