{"id":86,"date":"2014-07-02T03:04:25","date_gmt":"2014-07-02T03:04:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angeladentonfoss.wordpress.com\/?p=86"},"modified":"2014-07-02T03:04:25","modified_gmt":"2014-07-02T03:04:25","slug":"light-chains-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/?p=86","title":{"rendered":"“Light chains”…….normal"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/em>Even those who know me best probably have no idea at all that the type of myeloma I went through treatment for was light chain myeloma.\u00a0 Yes, there are different types of myeloma, many different types (from the little that I understand about it).\u00a0 And no, the irony (spiritually that is) of “light chain” myeloma has never escaped me.\u00a0 At times I really do marvel at the profundity of all of this–in the very description of the disease there is a good versus evil image.\u00a0 Many of those who define themselves as Christians have no doubt found their stories peppered with the paradox of “light” and “chains.”\u00a0 Just listen to some of the old hymns, like Charles Wesley’s (1739) And Can It Be That I Should Gain; “I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; my chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee.”<\/p>\n

Something else most don’t know is that, after every single check up, I have to wait several days for the light chain results.\u00a0 And because of how the myeloma I was treated for “behaved,” this result appears to be the most telling one.\u00a0 Well, from my blood draw on Friday at UNC, I got the results today, and they were “normal.”\u00a0\u00a0 And “thankful” is simply not a strong enough word for how I feel right now (and neither is “relieved”).\u00a0 With the busyness of life, I can sort of forget that I’m actually waiting for test results; in fact, I make a concerted effort to stay busier than usual when I am waiting as this helps me to forget that I’m waiting.\u00a0 But, the second that I realize the results are in, I feel a little something in my stomach (like a jump) and I hold my breath for just a few seconds.\u00a0 And yes, I am really disappointed in myself that these things do still occur. I feel quite sure that in “coming clean” about this I’m disappointing those around me who seem to admire my faith; but the only thing truly worthy of admiration anyway is the actual object of my faith.<\/p>\n

Now, I find myself exhausted from the emotional\/psychological (and whatever else) toil of the past few days.\u00a0 I really wish that I didn’t make it so hard on myself.\u00a0 It’s really not hard, logistically that is, to show up in Chapel Hill and have some blood taken out of my arm and wait to see my doctor for the results.\u00a0 There’s a lot about doing all of this that I actually enjoy (like seeing all of the pleasant faces at UNC).\u00a0 My hospital is a most special place.\u00a0 I’ve been to several and I’ve seen firsthand that there is indeed something special about the culture of UNC.\u00a0 They do everything they can to make whatever “it” is easier on their patients, on this patient.\u00a0 Yet, I inevitably find a way to make it very hard on myself.<\/p>\n

There are some days though, some joyful days, that I find myself able to believe with every fiber in my being that I will never, ever be critically ill from cancer again.\u00a0 And sometimes I even feel like the people there at my beloved hospital, those who saw me at my sickest, actually look at me like they too might just have found a way to believe that they’ll never, ever again see me ill either.\u00a0 And that’s one sweet look!\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Any chains that have ever bound me feel awfully light tonight, thanks to that most lovely object of my faith in whose eyes I know I will never, ever be sick again as he sees me now (and always will) just as he does his Son.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Even those who know me best probably have no idea at all that the type of myeloma I went through treatment for was light chain myeloma.\u00a0 Yes, there are different types of myeloma, many different types (from the little that I understand about it).\u00a0 And no, the irony (spiritually that is) of “light chain” myeloma […] <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-86","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6VlK3-1o","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angeladentonfoss.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}